British English vs. Singaporean English

 Who says our English is teruk? Just read below - Ours is simple, short, concise, straight-to-the-point, effective etc. 

WHEN GIVING A CUSTOMER BAD NEWS 
Britons: I'm sorry, sir, but we don't seem to have the sweater you want in your size, but if you give me a moment, I can call the other outlets for you. 

Singaporean: No stock! 

RETURNING A CALL
Britons: Hello, this is John Smith. Did anyone call for me a few moments ago? 

Singaporean: Hello, who call huh?

ASKING SOMEONE TO MAKE WAY
Britons: Excuse me, I would like to get by. Would you please make way? 

Singaporean: S-kew me.. 

WHEN SOMEONE OFFERS TO PAY 
Britons: Hey! Put your wallet away, this drink is on me. 

Singaporean: No need lah. 

WHEN ASKING FOR PERMISSION
Britons: Excuse me, but do you think it would be possible for me to enter through this door? 

Singaporean: (pointing at the door) Can ah?

WHEN ENTERTAINING
Britons: Please make yourself right at home. 

Singaporean: No need shy one lah! 

WHEN DOUBTING SOMEONE 
Britons: I don't recall you giving me the money. 

Singaporean: Where got? 

WHEN DECLINING AN OFFER
Britons: I would prefer not to do that, if you don't mind. 

Singaporean: Don't want lah.  

IN DISAGREEING ON A TOPIC OF DISCUSSION
Britons: Err...Tom, I have to stop you there. I understand where you're coming from, but I really have to disagree with what you said about the issue.  

Singaporean: You mad ah? 

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE TO LOWER THEIR VOICE.
Britons: Excuse me, but could you please lower your voice? I'm trying to concentrate over here. 

Singaporean: Shut up lah!  

WHEN ASKING SOMEONE IF HE/SHE KNOWS YOU..
Britons: Excuse me, but I noticed you staring at me for sometime. Do I know you? 

Singaporean: See what, see what? 

WHEN ASSESSING A TIGHT SITUATION. 
Britons: We seem to be in a bit of a predicament at the moment.. 

Singaporean: Die lah!!

WHEN TRYING TO FIND OUT WHAT HAD HAPPENED
Britons: Will someone tell me what has just happened?  

Singaporean: What happened ah? Why like that one lah? 

WHEN SOMEONE DID SOMETHING WRONG
Britons: This isn't the way to do it. Here, let me show you. 

Singaporean: Like that also don't know how to do! 


So which would you prefer? Send this to your Singaporean friends and let them have a laugh too. Good day! (^_^ )    

A Hill of Crosses

The Hill of Crosses is a site of pilgrimage in northern Lithuania. The first crosses were placed on the former hill fort in the 14th century. Over the centuries, not only crosses, but giant crucifixes, carvings of Lithuanian patriots, statues of the Virgin Mary and thousands of tiny effigies and rosaries have been brought here by Catholic pilgrims. The real reason for the Hill's existence lies buried in Lithuania's history. Over the centuries, the place has come to signify the peaceful endurance of Lithuanian Catholicism despite the threats it has faced throughout history. Invaded by Russia during the 1795 partition of the Polish-Lithuanian commonwealth Lithuania disappeared altogether from the map of Europe. When the old political structure of Eastern Europe fell apart in 1918, Lithuania once again declared its independence. Throughout this time, the Hill of Crosses was used as a place for Lithuanians to pray for peace, for their country, and for the loved ones they had lost.   Most recently, the site took on a special significance during the years 1944-1990, when Lithuania was occupied by the USSR. Continuing to travel to the Hill and leave their tributes, Lithuanians used it to demonstrate their allegiance to their original identity, religion and heritage. Although the Soviets worked hard to remove new crosses, and bulldozed the site at least three times, the new crossess continued to appear and by 1985 the authorities had given up.   On September 7, 1993, Pope John Paul II visited the Hill of Crosses, declaring it a place for hope, peace, love and sacrifice.

CLEAN YOUR KIDNEYS WITH LESS THAN $1.00

CLEAN YOUR KIDNEYS WITH LESS THAN $1.00

Years pass by and our kidneys are filtering the blood by removing salt, poison and any unwanted entering our body. With time, the salt accumulates and this needs to undergo cleaning treatments.  

How are we going to do this? 
It is very easy, first take a bunch of parsley and wash it clean. 


Then cut it in small pieces and put it in a pot and pour clean water and boil it for ten minutes and let it cool down and then filter it and pour in a clean bottle and keep it inside refrigerator to cool. 

Drink one glass daily and you will notice all salt and other accumulated poison coming out of your kidney by urination. Also you will be able to notice the difference which you never felt before. 

Parsley is known as best cleaning treatment for kidneys and it is natural!

mak kata jangan kan!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Suatu hari ada dua orang anak beranak berjalan kaki balik daripada satu supermarket yang agak terkenal di Permy Jaya. Ibu dan anaknya yang berusia 5 tahun tersebut balik daripada membeli barang keperluan kira-kira jam 6.30 petang. Sedang berjalan-jalan, anaknya ternampak beberapa kertas yang berwarna kuning yang kelihatan bertabur di tepi jalan raya. Lalu si anak bertanya, " Mak, kenapa ada kertas kat sini ??" katanya sambil menunjukkan wajah kehairanan. Mak nya pun menjawab , " tu duit cina mati, jangan kacau ya,". Mereka pun meneruskan perjalanan mereka balik ke rumah.

    Sampai dirumah, si ibu pun mula memasak dan menyediakan air mandian anaknya. Sedang sibuk memasak di dapur, si anak tiba-tiba berkata, " mak, kenapa orang tu jalan ulang alik kat tingkap kita tu?," ujar anaknya. Si ibu sedang sibuk lalu berkata " jangan buat lawak, rumah kita ni tingkat atas". Si ibu pun meneruskan kerjanya. Si anak pun kembali ke ruang tamu sambil memerhatikan tingkap bilik tidur yang dikatakan ada orang ulang alik di situ.

gambar hiasan

     Sepuluh minit kemudian si ibu menyuruh anaknya mandi tetapi anaknya berkata " mak, orang tu masih kat situ, kali ini dia tengok saya....mak!!!, ujar anaknya dengan perasaan tidak puas hati. Lalu ibunya pun memerhatikan tingkap bilik tersebut tetapi tiada apa-apa pun. Lantas ibunya membiarkan saja dan memandikan anaknya. Sedang menyimpan pakaian kotor ke dalam mesin basuh, ibunya ternampak kertas berwarna kuninh dalam kocek seluar anaknya. Rupanya ia adalah wang kertas cina di jalan petang tadi. Si ibu terus berasa dingin dan menyedari apa yang dikatakan anaknya mengenai tingkap tersebut kemungkinan tuan punya wang kertas tersebut. Perasaan takut mula meyelubungi dirinya tambahan lagi suami dan anak sulungnya tiada di rumah. Dengan sedikit keberanian yang ada, si ibu berjalan ke arah tingkap lalu berkata " saya akan bagi balik duit ni, minta maaf".
     Si ibu memnaggil jirannya dan meminta tolong untuk menghantar wang kertas tu semula ke tempat di mana si anak mengutip tadi. Setelah selesai, si ibu membaca ayat-ayat suci daripada bible dan menyembur air suci ke setiap ruang rumah mereka.Kemudian si anak berkata, mak, orang tu dah takda," Ibunya memberi peringatan kepada anaknya agar tridak lagi mengambil sesuatu yang bukan milik kita. syukur sehingga ke hari ini, tiada apa-apa yang berlaku kepada mereka....percaya atau tidak...terpulang kepada anda tetapi jangan sekali-kali mengambil sesuatu yang bukan milik kita.

SAMPAI KORANG AMBIK DUIT AKU (SEKADAR GAMBAR HIASAN)

Chinese Doctor vs Western Doctor

                       CETA LAWAK UNTUK DIKONGSIKAN BERSAMA

While in China, an Australian man was very sexually promiscuous and did not use a condom at all. 

A week after arriving back home in Sydney, he woke one morning to find his penis covered with purple spots. Horrified, he immediately went to see a doctor. 

The doctor, never having seen anything like this before, ordered some tests and told the man to return in two days for the results.

The man returned a couple of days later and the doctor said, 'I've got bad news for you - you've contracted Mongolian VD. It's very rare and almost unheard of here. We know very little about it.' 

The man looked a little perplexed and said: 'Well, give me a shot or something and fix me up, Doc.' 

The doctor answered: 'I'm sorry, there's no known cure. We're going to have to amputate your penis.' 

The man screamed in horror, 'Absolutely not! I want a second opinion.' 

The doctor replied: 'Well, it's your choice. Go ahead if you want, but surgery is your only option.' 

The next day the man found a Chinese doctor, figuring that he'd know more about the disease. 
The Chinese doctor examined his penis and proclaimed, 'Ah, yes, Mongolian VD. Very rare disease.' 

The guy said to the doctor, 'Yeah, yeah, I already know that but what can we do? My Australian doctor wants to operate and amputate my penis!' 

The Chinese doctor shook his head and laughed. 'Stupid Australian doctor, always want to operate. Make more money that way. No need to operate!' 

'Oh, Thank God!' the man replied. 

'Yes,' says the Chinese doctor, 'You no worry! I give some herbal drink. Wait two weeks. Fall off by itself!'

SELAMAT BERPUASA BUAT KAWAN-KAWAN KU

Amazing art from Pencils ?

THIS IS AWSOME!   BE SURE TO READ THE PARABLE AT THE END   A PENCIL MAKER TOLD THE PENCIL FIVE IMPORTANT LESSONS JUST BEFORE PUTTING IT IN THE BOX : 1. EVERYTHING YOU DO WILL ALWAYS LEAVE A MARK . 2. YOU CAN ALWAYS CORRECT THE MISTAKES YOU MAKE. 3. WHAT IS IMPORTANT IS WHAT IS INSIDE OF YOU. 4. IN LIFE , YOU WILL UNDERGO PAINFUL SHARPENINGS, WHICH WILL ONLY MAKE YOU BETTER. 5. TO BE THE BEST PENCIL, YOU MUST ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE HELD AND GUIDED BY THE HAND THAT HOLDS YOU.  We all need to be constantly sharpened.  This parable may encourage you to know that you are a special person, with unique God-given talents and abilities.  Only you can fulfill the purpose which you were born to accomplish.  Never allow yourself to get discouraged and think that your life is insignificant and cannot be changed and, like the pencil, always remember that the most important part of who you are, is what's inside of you and then allow yourself to be guided by the hand of God.  (post ini bukan milik ku, aku hanya sampaikan mesej yang ingin dikatakan)